Gamertell

I thought there were limits as to what kind of atrocious video games could be created and unleashed on the unsuspecting public. But I was wrong. Viva Media is going to be releasing four of Tivola’s PC game in North America. The titles scheduled to be released before the end of 2008 are Doggie Daycare, The Enchanted Unicorn, Dream Job Babysitter and Happy Tails: Animal Shelter. All of the titles do a pretty good job of describing the games, so I’ll leave it at that.

In case you’re curious, Viva Media is also responsible for quite a few other games with similar themes. Some of its best known titles include Pet Vet 3D Animal Hospital Down Under, My Horse Farm: Welcome to Trotterville, and Hula Hamsters. Yes, there is really a Hula Hamsters game. Viva Media focuses on PC titles, so consoles are safe - for now.

This does not bode well. Any video game with “doggie” or “enchanted” in the title is a definite red flag. No, more like a blazing, crimson bullhorn of despair. There are no words to describe my feelings when I read this press release. I know who’ll be buying these games - clueless parents or grandparents. Before the end of 2008 a whole legion of little kids will have a violent uprising over Doggie Daycare, The Enchanted Unicorn, Dream Job Babysitter and Happy Tails: Animal Shelter. No one will stop them. Police and the national guard will come over and ask, “What’s all this about?” The kids will show their copies of The Enchanted Unicorn and Hula Hamsters, and the police will realize the kids’ anger is justified and allow them to carry on. There’ll be riots in the streets until their 8pm bedtime.

Read [MCV] Site [Viva Media]