Gamertell

Didn’t have a good Valentine’s Day? Don’t worry.  You’re not alone. After all, I’m sure quite a few of us spent the day doing commonplace, unromantic things. It happens.

No Valentine means no love-gone-wrong. That’s right - it isn’t all roses, hearts and puppies. Love hurts sometimes, and relationships can go sour. To help those who didn’t have someone special this year, Gamertell’s put together a list of nine failed video game couples. It’s better being single than having an ex like this. We’re going through the failed relationships starting with somewhat unpleasant aftershocks, leading up to heinous reactions.

Editor’s Note: Please be advised that a Spoiler Warning is in effect for all games/couples in the following list.

9. Animal Crossing Tom Nook and Sable Able

Okay, so we aren’t quite sure just how close the relationship between Sable and Nook was. Nook’s too consumed with bells and business to discuss past affairs. As for Sable, she only opens up once she’s developed a close friendship with a character. What we do know is that long ago, when they were both young, they were very close friends. Then, when Sable had to take up the role as Mable’s guardian and Nook left for the city to try and find his fortune, the two grew apart. After Nook returned to town, it was as if there had been nothing between the two.

Overall, this is a fairly uneventful and commonplace break-up. After a drastic change, the previous relationship is left in the past. The loss of a close confidant is always sad, especially when he or she is within walking distance. It seems like Nook was unphased by the event, but Sable clearly is still harboring some feelings of regret.

8. Final Fantasy VIII‘s Rinoa Heartilly and Seifer Almasy

It isn’t that Rinoa and Seifer’s breakup went all that badly. Actually, we really don’t know much about their relationship. The two dated sometime before the events in FFVIII. There aren’t any scenes between the two characters that suggest it was a scandalous or dramatic break up.

However, Seifer is definitely one of those ex-boyfriends you’d be ashamed to admit you know. After all, he joins up as the Sorceress Ultimecia’s, knight. Part of his behavior comes from being brainwashed by her, but still. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s basically an accomplice to a figure who wants to compress all eras of time into one. His best friends even abandon him for being such a loser.

7. Xenosaga‘s Shion Uzuki and Kevin Winnicot/Red Testament

There’s nothing like finding out your former fiance is sort-of still alive and working with the enemy. That’s what happened to Shion though, when she discovered her former fiance is Wilhelm’s Red Testament. As the Red Testament and Roth Mantel, Kevin assists Wilhelm as his right hand-man. Not to mention that Shion ends up learning her former love created T-elos so it can absorb and destroy KOS-MOS, which Shion has put so much work into creating.

Then, when Shion does find out who Red Testament really is, she’s willing to completely change her course of action for him. Red Testament then uses her when she’s susceptible like this, and tries to convince her to reject everyone she’d held dear and be on his side.

Red Testament/Kevin isn’t all bad though. After all, he does manage to atone for his actions.

6. Septerra Core: Legacy of the Creator‘s Selina and Doskias

You have to feel bad for Selina. She started out as basically an orphan and beggar on Shell 1. She had to struggle to survive. Then, she met Doskias. he saved her, and gave her the opportunity to become a Chosen Swordswoman and follow him. She fell in love with a man who had decided that he, as a descendant of Marduk, would be the perfect one to get the Legacy of the Creator and its godlike powers.

So what does he do, after she helps him in his nefarious scheme? Ditches her. She’s not good enough for him, even though he was the one who picked her up in the first place.

Of course this then makes Selina the requisite bad guy turned good character for Maya’s party of heroes. She joins them to take down the megalomaniac with a god complex that was her ex-boyfriend.

5. Odin Sphere‘s Gwendolyn and Inferno King Onyx

You have to feel bad for Gwendolyn. She’s pretty much been a pawn her whole life, and when she finally ends up with a good guy like Oswald, someone like the Inferno King Onyx comes along to ruin it. I suppose you could also argue that it’s Odin’s fault, and Onyx is justified in his behavior.

See, Odin promised his daughter Gwendolyn to Onyx. But, Odin offers Gwendolyn to Oswald in exchange for Oswald defeating the dragon Wagner. To get Onyx to drop the matter and not cause trouble, because Oswald truly loved Gwendolyn, he offered to fight to the death when Onyx summoned him.

So when baby Leventhan showed up, Oswald was summoned. When Gwendolyn heard, she hurried there, only to be taunted by Onyx about how Oswald was probably already dead. She left to go save her husband. Sending the husband of your former betrothed to his death is totally not cool.

4. The Bouncer‘s Volt Kreuger and Echidna

Volt and Echidna used to be close. They worked together in Mikado Corporation and were lovers. Well, at least Volt supposedly cared about her. Echidna, on the other hand, didn’t have such a close attachment - she couldn’t get over the fact that Volt was just better than her. So, when Dauragon Mikado took over Mikado Corp, she decided it was time for Volt to go. She shot him in the head, blamed him for Master Mikado’s death and left him to die.

That didn’t get rid of Volt so easily. He covered up the bullet scars with piercings, and then decided to find a way to get back into Mikado Corp to settle the score with Dauragon for Master Mikado, and deal with Echidna along the way.

3. Grand Theft Auto III‘s Claude and Catalina

Catalina’s motto could be taken directly from The Godfather, “It’s not personal, it’s business.” She takes off with Claude in Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. The two begin a string of bank robberies and do pretty well. Until the beginning of Grand Theft Auto III, when Catalina shoots him during one of the robberies. You know it’s never good when the person you love tries to kill you.

Catalina’s reign of terror doesn’t end there. She reappears to mess up Claude’s life even more throughout GTA 3. For example, she kidnaps Maria. She also proves that shooting her exes is typical. After all, she kills Miguel, her lover after Claude, when she’s done with him. I guess that’s one way to keep guys from posting about you on Don’t Date This Girl.

2. Silent Hill 2‘s James Sunderland and Maria

If you kill your wife, and suddenly you meet an exact duplicate of her, run. That’s the one thing we’ve all learned from Silent Hill 2. James Sunderland, the protagonist, arrives in the town of Silent Hill after receiving a letter from his dead wife, that he killed, asking her to meet him there. Instead of meeting Mary, he meets Maria, a strange woman who appears identical to his dead wife. A strange relationship begins between the two, which could almost be considered romantic.

Maria is a supernatural character, dying and resurrecting multiple times. Each time, she’s murdered at the hands of Pyramid Head. James continually fails to save her. Yet when she returns, she remembers nothing.

She’s definitely James’ worst nightmare - at least in three of the six endings. She turns into the final boss in each, and goes after James after he rejects her. James better look elsewhere for his second wife.

1. Final Fantasy X‘s Seymour Guado and Yuna

What’s worse than a lover who wants to destroy his former lover’s new love or his former lover. One who wants to destroy the world, even after he’s already been killed. That’s Seymour for you though. Tenatious.

Seymour decided that the only way to really save people from Sin was to become Sin and destroy everyone. Because if everyone’d be dead, they’d be happy, right?

Part of Seymour’s “plan” involved uniting Spira by marrying Yuna. So he tried to lure her into marriage with Farplane memories. Didn’t work, as his father’s spirit helped alert Yuna and her guardians to the truth. They defeated Seymour, but his spirit still hung around as an unsent.

So Yuna and co. decided to have her “agree” to marry him, to try and get close and send his spirit to the afterlife. Good plan. Except, Seymour captured Yuna’s friends and threatened to kill them unless she married him. Yuna and co. escaped, of course.

He then goes on to cause more trouble, fights the party as Seymour Natus, Flux and Omnis, and almost succeeds in becoming Sin. He actually gets absorbed in, but the party manages to defeat him. How’s that for an atrocious ex?