Gamertell

Title: Quark: The Complete Series
Price: $19.95
Release Date: September 2, 2008
Studio: Sony Pictures
Rating: Not Rated.
Pros: A relatively unknown sci fi parody TV series resurrected for home video for the first time. Hokey humor, cheesy Star Trek homages, blatant stereotyping and over-the-top acting make this so bad it’s funny.
Cons: Complete lack of extra features. Some dialog so bad it hurts including an overuse of the screen mugging “Star Note” gag.
Overall Score: One thumb up, one thumb sideways; 80/100; B-; * * * out of five.

Yes, the name might be a bit confusing to some. This is not a desktop publishing application. This is not about subatomic particles. It is not even about a big-eared bartender from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine.

Quark is, simply put, a disco parody of mid-‘70s sci fi that’s so bad, it’s good.

Star Note: Where Do I Begin?

Originally airing 1977-1978, the TV series Quark is an obvious product of the era, complete with hokey laugh track, discotheque appropriate sets, skimpy ‘70s outfits, bad acting and semi-social commentaries.

Crew members include Commander Adam Quark (Richard Benjamin) who naturally dreams of working on a real spacecraft;  Ficus the unfeeling vegetable-based Vegeton (Richard Kelton); sexy

clone engineers, both called Betty (Tricia and Cyb Barnstable), who constantly vie for Quarks affections; wimpy robot Andy (Bobby Porter) who will turn tube at the slightest hint of danger; and a half-man, half-woman Trans-Mute first officer (Timothy Thomerson) who flips between between rugged male Gene and timid female Jean personalities.

Each episode starts with Commander Quark getting order from Otto Palindrom (Conrad Janis) and a glowy, floating head named The Head (Alan Caillou). Unlike the glorious missions of dramatic science fiction shows, Quark instead follows the crew of a garbage collection ship sent on missions that are often as base as “pick up the centuries of mounting garbage” or as unexpected as “stop the evil galaxy-conquering enemies.“

No matter the mission, the crew usually stumbles into saving the galaxy despite a complete lack of ability and lack of faith from superiors. Episodes often attempt to parody science fiction movies and TV series with the most obvious homages to Star Trek (the original series) and single-episode slapstick nods to Star Wars and 2001: A Space Odyssey.

Star Note: Get Me On This Crazy Ship!

It’s no wonder the series lasted only eight episodes, getting revamped after the pilot in some of the same way as the original Battlestar Galactica (airing around the same time) was adjusted to make it more like the original Star Trek TV series. It even goes so far as to pilfer sound effects, set elements and basic plot points from Trek.

While it’s far too easy to initially knock this series for being bad - in terms of acting, production, stories, blatant stereotyping and card sets - this show instead traverses the curve of goodness, passing through the bad zone and landing back in the hokey humor area. Come on - A plant-based person named Ficus who is a Vegetron? That’s just bad enough to make me laugh at the fact that someone thought that would last as a laughing point for an entire series. And got paid.

This show does deserves some credit for trying to release a science fiction parody before parodies were cool. Strangely enough, it’s also strangely predictive, predating Spaceballs by ten years (appropriately enough, both have “from the co-creator of Get Smart“ credits), featuring girls in gold bikinis years before Empire Strikes Back (OK, maybe that is a bit of the disco era coming through) and a moody robot less than a year a before the original Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy radio show aired.

Star Note: Insert Laughter Here

There are so many era-specific elements to the series that you cannot help but laugh: Hairstyles are humorously swoopy, even on the men, computers have giant square buttons, villain costumes look like they came straight from fan swap meets, the lisping feminine part of Gene/Jean is always brought out as a gag and the series is peppered with ye olde laugh track.

If you can embrace the disco-era cheese, gratuitous jabs at Star Trek and the obnoxious over use of the “Star Note” as a gag, this is definitely worth a rental. A fan of sci fi spoofs of any sort will do well to add this to their collection and pull out during lackluster parties for a round of “spot the cameltoe.“

Product Page [Quark] Read [io9] Also Read [TVSquad]

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